But no I can't, thats dangerous.
I am all about living my past
and drudging up the hard battles
I never won and never will win.
I have confronted some things,
but maybe never in the way that
makes me kill the memory like the
bastard that it is.
I even shudder to think there
is more to that one memory
but ever since that young age
my mind has protected me
just so I can survive.
I must need a thought deprivation tank
to invoke all the brain currents
and make me feel that jolt of pain
I have been holding off.
What if that is the thought that emerges
at the end of my life
and I leave this world
with intense shame?
Scary to think about.