They Marked Me For Bearing Struggles

If it was not enough to wait there
standing still for hours
twas the memory of your face
as it first cast shadows on lilacs of spring crossover to summer.

Do you recall that feeling
when you see someone's face
and you fall in love
even if you know you could never
completely have him or her,
that one particular person belongs
to someone else.

Actually, what is to belong?
I know what it is to be alone.
An abalone,
sing to me the salt water air
when a gull reached out to
grab its food for free
yet at the cost of survival.

What is falling
and more importantly, in what
and for how long and if long,
will it be eternity?
Question me
question everything.
We are not bound to what
may or may not be on that
certain finger.

And here I am, struggling,
for what?
I carry nothing, but it might as well be everything.
I fancy myself on the thoughts of everything,
although it be nothing.
What goes on in my mind might be nothing
compared to what is buzzing your head.

Allow me just to backtrack
and apologize for nothing/everything
it is all too confusing
for this time at night 1:25 AM on a new Friday
with no one to be around,
no where to go.
DO I feel a sense of importance
or direction, NO.
Then what keeps my heart beating
and passion flowing?

Who's ever idea it was to have me living
on this earth made it so perfect
for others to feel superior whenever they
are around me.
Other are lucky that I will sit out
and let then gather the spotlight.
It's okay if I do not exist.
But I would like to have a friend.