Multiple Whys and So Many Crimes

Why am I the way I am?
And why do I have to hate myself?
Why can't I just feel positive?
Why can't I have confidence?
Or why does everything have to go wrong?

I capture so much anger
and it returns to melancholy.
"From snow to the 50s"
says the TV.
I hate life.
I am waiting for the next huge
disease to wipe out
half the worlds population.

I want to show my words
but I want to erase it
I'LL KEEP IT
but I hope it goes unseen.
I can't do any better.
I don't know where I'm going.